


An Interlude

by Kitsune_Heart



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Blanket Permission, Double Entendre, F/M, Humor, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-30
Updated: 2010-11-30
Packaged: 2017-10-23 18:17:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/253406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsune_Heart/pseuds/Kitsune_Heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little one-shot. Perhaps consider it the long-lost chapter of "Fowl Shorts." Or perhaps not. Artemis manages to convince Holly to try something, despite all her misgivings, and the result is...to be expected, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> **This story doesn't necessarily need to be connected to any of my other series, but it does fit so well into _The Living_ universe that you might as well consider it a missing chapter of _Fowl Shorts._**

**An Interlude**

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Artemis cajoled, doing his utmost to entice the woman before him, who was watching his...offering with utmost suspicion.

"I'm not doing it, Artemis," Holly avowed, backing further away. "I don't care what you say. Not gonna happen."

"Captain...don't be so stubborn." Smiling, which made the fairy gulp apprehensively, he leaned in just a bit closer, maintaining their former distance. "I'm sure you'd _love_ it."

"Oh, you _would_ say that," Holly snapped, closing her mouth immediately, in case he tried to take matters into his own hands. "Just because you're enjoying... _that_ so much, it doesn't mean I will."

"You wont know until you try," Artemis reasoned. He realized his logic was falling on deaf ears, even if those ears were so large and normally sensitive. If she did not agree soon, then the treat would go soft, and the experience would be ruined. He'd have to try a slightly different approach. "Oh, come now...I'll make you a deal."

The captain knew to be suspicious of any of Fowl's deals, but her left brow twitched, betraying a slight interest. Eventually, she murmured, "Well...what?"

"Just...this...once," Artemis said carefully. "And, if I am wrong and you don't like it, I will _never_ ask you to do it again."

Holly hesitated. And, in that hesitation, Artemis knew she was hooked.

Groaning at her foolishness, she nodded. "Fine, Artemis...and you'd _better_ not go back on this!"

"I wouldn't dream of it," he purred. Scooting in closer, taking his gift in hand, he placed it before Holly's lips and whispered. "Open wide, Captain."

Her eyes nearly crossed as she looked down at what was so close. Unable to bear the discomfort of watching, she squeezed her lids down, mouth opening, trembling as she accepted the teaspoon or two of soft white cream.

Artemis didn't even have a chance to query his friend on the taste before he was knocked to the floor via a swift kick to the chest, accompanied by an earsplitting scream.

"AH! FOWL! You...ugh!" Holly scrambled about the table, finding a paper napkin and spitting the contents of her mouth into it, a dribble coming down her chin. "I can't believe you convinced me to do that! I _told_ you I'd hate it! Why didn't you listen to me? _Why?_ "

Artemis considered the question carefully, and then gave the elf a rather large smile and shrug. "I did listen. I just didn't care."

Then, taking a new spoon from the kitchen drawer, Artemis scooped up another large helping of vanilla ice cream and slid it slowly—almost sensuously—between his lips, letting out a mocking "mmmm" when Holly glared at him, cleaning the last dribble of desert from her face.

"I'm not kidding, Artemis," Holly grumbled, rubbing her cheeks to try and return some warmth to her poor, abused veins. "I am never eating ice cream again."

"Hmmm...I'm not so sure," he returned. "You haven't even tried Juliet's home-made cookie dough."

**Author's Note:**

> "Fairies hate cold. They hate it. Some are so phobic about low temperatures that they wont even eat ice cream."  
>  _-Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident, page 267_


End file.
